add it to the list

Part of being a military wife means I spend a great deal of my time in worry.

I worry about Hubby - his safety, his sanity and when the next time is he'll get a hot dinner.

I worry about myself - can I put up the emotional front of being okay with him missing another birthday. Can I ever be enough of a mom and dad for the little boys?

I worry about the little ones - are they really as emotionally resilient as people say they are? Are the choices we making now going to cause severe issues when The Bear and The Monkey are older?

They just released a new survey that figured out that proved the do have issues. Is that really something that needed to be shared just before Christmas?

Add it to the list of reasons to feel guilty.



I sit here in our Christmas-ed home waiting.

Waiting for the great blizzard of 2009 to finally hit us. I <3 snow. I especially <3 snowy Christmases.

Waiting for my parents to get here. Their flight was delayed because of said snow storm. And, because it's a flight. Poppy is going to be meeting The Monkey for the first time. And, they both adore The Bear.

Waiting for Christmas in general. I'm hoping the next week is filled with cookie decorating, lots of family time and some hot cocoa.

Waiting for Hubby to actually get a break. He was supposed to start leave yesterday at 4 pm. He worked until 8 last night. And, he's back in today. I know he has this drive to be the best, but sometimes I wish he would settle for being mediocre. I'm really hoping I don't have to wait until December 2011 to get this. This Navy business really tests my patience around the holidays.



my christmas list

While I've been busy preparing for a fun Christmas for The Bear and The Monkey (and Hubby and my parents), I realized it's also my Christmas. I don't need anything really. But, here are my Christmas wishes:

1- A day diaper free. We're talking 24 hours where I don't have to change a single diaper or say "The Bear needs a new diaper" 12 times before it's changed with a heavy sigh. (In all fairness, Hubby has been changing WAY more diapers than before The Monkey was born. I still have a whole bunch to change myself though.) When I suggested this to Hubby his response was sure in 3 years. I'm surprised he didn't ask if he could just buy me something instead.

2- A whole weekend (I'm getting greedy here, huh) with Hubby home. His one weekend a month "off" is really him working Friday overnight and getting home exhausted Saturday morning. It would be nice to have 2 and a half days where there was no work. No fretting about him "supposed to be" at work to study for quals. Just us as a family.

3- A new computer battery. My laptop isn't that old. I got it just after I graduated in 2006. However, the battery is kaput. It dies in less than 2 minutes of me unplugging it. Even if it has been charging all day. It's getting annoying having to be no further than 5 feet from the outlet.

4- A family picture. A nice picture of the 4 of us. We don't have to be in dressy clothes. I am asking for everyone's eyes to be open (well, at least the 3 biggest of us). We do have newborn pictures scheduled for next week and I'm hoping that we can get a decent shot with all of us.

5- A full night of sleep. I won't be too greedy on this one. I'm willing to count 5 hours as a full night's sleep. (I know this one is unlikely and would never actually not feed The Monkey if he woke up hungry.) If only there was some way for Hubby to be able to nurse for a day...

6- Nursing tops. I'm much more active with The Monkey than I was at this point with The Bear. The Bear still has play dates that he (honestly, we) needs. I'm not super modest, but I'm also not the type to just sit there half naked in a room full of people. The few I have mean I have to do laundry every 3 days which just isn't practical with two little ones.

Those are my big dreams this year. :-) What do you really want for Christmas this year?


the bear turned 2

Amidst the craziness of Hubby coming home, my parents visiting, Thanksgiving, preparing for The Monkey and the normal Christmas hubbub, The Bear had a birthday.

He turned 2 on Monday. I was only one of those crazy moms with "2 under 2" for 4 days. Let me tell you, 4 days was enough of it for me.

I was terrified that The Monkey would arrive ... well about when he did ... and The Bear's birthday would be easily pushed aside. I like birthdays. A lot. I grew up in a house where we celebrated them hard core.

We had a party 2 weeks ago for him. It wasn't anything super huge. Remember that list of other things going on in our lives I just rattled off? There were about 20 people though. We had it at our neighborhood community center. There were 7 of his little friends there. Entertainment was limited - all the kids ranged in age from 2 years, 6 months to 1 year, 10 months. We had coloring, play dough making and brought our home made ball pit up there. (It's a kids' plastic pool we fill with balls.) We asked for no gifts which shocked my mom. However: 1) he doesn't need anything. 2) Christmas is coming up super soon. 3) I want him to know birthdays are a time of friends, family and fun (and balloons) 4) I knew he would get spoiled with gifts from our families.

It was a big deal to me because Hubby was deployed during his birthday last year so it was our first party together. My parents were also in town, and that always adds a bit of pressure. I had my first mommy needs to be perfect moment. I had seen this awesome rainbow cake and felt the need to duplicate it exactly. (The Bear's theme was balls which was really just bright circles). While my cake didn't end up as I had hoped (and involved a few tears), The Bear seemed quite happy with it.

For our main decoration, I had ordered a photo mural from this shop on etsy. It was cheap ($10) and served as a unique focal point. The Bear thought he was so cool to see himself so big.

My absolute favorite picture of the day was this one. Can you guess how old he is? :-) We are those evil parents who have birthday parties and then he gets lots of new stuff. Not sure how he'll survive the year with us.

And, as you can see. He still got WAY too many presents.

I know I'm going to have to let go of that mommy pressure to be perfect, but I think we all had a (mostly) good day. Since he has no concept of dates, we treated the whole day like it was his birthday. We did however go out to dinner and get ice cream on his actual birthday. But honestly, that was more for me than him. I did do most of the work though.


new addition

I realized I've been away for awhile - which probably 2 people noticed (I'm being generous with the 2). We've had a busy time the last few weeks, and I'll slowly catch up on the big things that have been going on.

I would like to introduce the newest member of our family.

His blog name is The Monkey. He reminded me of a little monkey when he was born - long skinny limbs that would clutch on to anything possible. A little fuzz all over to protect his baby skin.

He joined us at 5:48 pm on December 3rd (12-3 for you other number lovers). He weighed a whopping 8 pounds, 5 ounces and was 20 inches long. As a point of reference, The Bear weighed 5 pounds, 11 ounces so this guy took us by surprise.

I'm trying to get myself in the swing of things while still remembering to take care of myself. I just had to show him off for all to see :-)