Rhythm

Hubby has been home for 3 weeks already. Isn't that crazy? He had 2 weeks off in which we were able to go visit both sets of parents. Hubby had some sad family news which put a damper on our time together.

We were able to go on a date though. Like a real one. My parents watched The Bear while Hubby and I went to a wedding on Valentine's Day. It involved dressing up, dinner, dancing and my first time drinking in 2 years. It was weird to be away from The Bear, but I know Hubby and I need time alone.

We've been back to our house for a week now. Hubby has some yucky work hours (on 24 hours, off 24 hours) which makes it really hard to get into a groove. Hubby's truck also bit the dust so we're a one car family now.

Normal work hours resume next week which should help a lot. I'm ready for our "normal" life to return even if it will be all messed up in a few weeks when they leave again. Honestly, Hubby and I have had some issues getting back into our rhythm. It's hard for him to know what to do, and it's hard for me to know what to let him do or expect him to do. I know he needs vacation and time to decompress, but I also have been longing for a teammate. I am blessed enough to stay home with The Bear which complicates things in my mind. I know it is my duty to run the house and do the cleaning and such. I don't get an income, so those responsibilities should be mine. But, sometimes it would be nice for me to get a break. I wish there was a way to explain this to Hubby without making it look like I don't like staying home or I don't value all the hard work he does.

I'm vowing that once March roles around, I'm going to get myself back on a schedule I can handle. That allows for me time for me to write or read of just sit. I know those 30 minutes make me a better wife and a better mom. Most importantly, it makes me a better me.

He's home!

Hubby got home yesterday! It was FREEZING cold, but I'm very glad we were there for it. Hubby has been amazingly wonderful. We've been hanging out as a family and will be for the next few weeks during stand down.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from yesterday. Sadly, we don't have any of us as a family or just me and Hubby. It was so very cold and WAY past nap time. I'm going to ask around. We were quoted in the newspaper and made the local news.

The Bear in all his patriotic glory.


The Bear and I waiting for the boat

Hubby and The Bear. You can tell he was so very tired, but he felt right at home with his Daddy.

Love Letter

Dear Hubby,

Tomorrow you return home. You return back to a world that allows you to keep the water on while you shower, decide what you want to eat and watch television. As a warning, this world also comes with snow to be shoveled, a puppy to walk and the occasional temper tantrum.

I am so proud of you. Proud of me. And, most importantly proud of us. It was not always a pleasant journey, but we've done it. We have also learned along the way which will hopefully make the future separations easier. We have emailed daily (even if we didn't always get one). We kept our promises. We were faithful which I regret to say is not the case for all those coming home tomorrow. I am more in love with you now than ever.

I have butterflies in my stomach. They were right when they said it was like a second honeymoon. I can't wait to see you, but I'm anxious. I am very grateful to have won that first kiss, but I'm terrified to have such a private moment on display.

I would like to admit that I am a little scared of tomorrow. Our world is a little different than when you left. Your son is now mobile and getting into everything. He is sleeping through the night well though now which is a pleasant bonus. He has quite the personality. He's eating big boy food. He likes to play catch. We have our routine down. I would love for you to learn it and join with us. I know we will need some slight tweaks to better fit your work schedule, and I hope you can be patient as we transition. I want you to jump in and do all those Daddy things. Please be tender with me as I might boss you about. I've been calling the shots the last 6 months. When I tell you how to do things, please know it is because I want you to join in. I don't want to upset you.

I have changed the last 6 months. Your son has changed. I'm quite positive that you have some changes coming home with you, too. I'm ready though. I'm ready for us to change together as a family.

Remember in the next few days I love you with my whole heart. Swim safely home. We'll be waiting for you.

Forever Yours

I WON!

Tonight was our Meet & Greet which is the official meeting for all families and squadron. They go over all the rules and announce the official time the boat is pulling in.

More importantly than them reminding me to dress warmly (it's February in Connecticut; I'm not a complete idiot), the wives group drew for First Kiss. Our boat has 2 First Kisses - one for blue shirts and one for khakis. We also give a First Hug which is open to all the kids.

I WON! I never thought I would win, but I am super excited. Now, I'm stressing out about what to wear even more. There will be a photographer and possibly a TV station documenting the kiss. It's weird because it won't be private or romantic at all. It reminds me of the kiss at our wedding (and has me feeling a little Josh Duggar-esque).

I was planning on just being warm since it's going to be so very cold. Now, I don't want to wear my big puffy coat though. Any suggestions on how to be warm and cute?

Silly Comforts

As we are approaching homecoming, I'm attempting to get our house in some sort of order. I realize what is messy for me is not messy for others, but I want Hubby to come home to a clean home.

I am becoming more and more aware of the silly things I did 6 months ago to ease the transition of a deployment. Nothing was major, just small little things to make it not so hard he was gone. Once I was emotionally stable and in my own groove, I felt bad switching things back. Now, I want to hide my small weirdness from Hubby. He's well aware of my quirks, but they aren't things I want to flaunt the moment he walks in the door. "Welcome home, Hubby. I'm really weird." It doesn't have the same ring.

I went to undo them, and I find myself not able to. My home has been like this for 6 months. Why move it now? I still can't move things. I guess even as strong as I like to think that I am still isn't strong enough to be completely alone.

To be completely honest, here is my list of oddness:
-Hubby's truck is parked way down the street (there are parking spots across the street from our house). I didn't like being able to look out the window and see his truck. It was a high of Hubby's home instantly followed by the reminder that no he isn't.
-I moved our kitchen table. It was too weird to see his empty seat there. I turned it and pushed it closer to the wall so there is no room for someone to sit across the table from me.
-His shoes are still sitting by the front door. Granted, they are sandals which is what he was wearing in August. Now they just look silly.
-We have a valet up in our bedroom where Hubby always hangs his uniform. When he left, he obviously had the uniform on. It made me sad to see the empty valet every time I walked up the stairs so I put another uniform there.
-Hubby LOVES Mt Dew. He is the only person I know that can drink a whole can in less than 5 minutes. It's actually gross. He had one in the car on our way to the pier. I still haven't taken the empty can out of our car.

I'm amazed at the things I do to adapt. We're almost done. I've learned about our marriage the last 6 months. I've learned a lot about me, too.