As we are approaching homecoming, I'm attempting to get our house in some sort of order. I realize what is messy for me is not messy for others, but I want Hubby to come home to a clean home.
I am becoming more and more aware of the silly things I did 6 months ago to ease the transition of a deployment. Nothing was major, just small little things to make it not so hard he was gone. Once I was emotionally stable and in my own groove, I felt bad switching things back. Now, I want to hide my small weirdness from Hubby. He's well aware of my quirks, but they aren't things I want to flaunt the moment he walks in the door. "Welcome home, Hubby. I'm really weird." It doesn't have the same ring.
I went to undo them, and I find myself not able to. My home has been like this for 6 months. Why move it now? I still can't move things. I guess even as strong as I like to think that I am still isn't strong enough to be completely alone.
To be completely honest, here is my list of oddness:
-Hubby's truck is parked way down the street (there are parking spots across the street from our house). I didn't like being able to look out the window and see his truck. It was a high of Hubby's home instantly followed by the reminder that no he isn't.
-I moved our kitchen table. It was too weird to see his empty seat there. I turned it and pushed it closer to the wall so there is no room for someone to sit across the table from me.
-His shoes are still sitting by the front door. Granted, they are sandals which is what he was wearing in August. Now they just look silly.
-We have a valet up in our bedroom where Hubby always hangs his uniform. When he left, he obviously had the uniform on. It made me sad to see the empty valet every time I walked up the stairs so I put another uniform there.
-Hubby LOVES Mt Dew. He is the only person I know that can drink a whole can in less than 5 minutes. It's actually gross. He had one in the car on our way to the pier. I still haven't taken the empty can out of our car.
I'm amazed at the things I do to adapt. We're almost done. I've learned about our marriage the last 6 months. I've learned a lot about me, too.