10.05.2008

You understand?

Tonight I had a lovely dinner with 3 other wives from hubby's boat. It was the best Saturday night I've had since they've left. It was an amazing to be with a group of girls who understood. We're all experiencing the same emotions. The same journey.

We had a discussion on how others have no clue what it's like. I would never wish it on anyone. It's hard. It stinks. But, it makes you stronger. It can strengthen your marriage. It empowers you.

Other military wives, I am officially giving you permission (because I obviously have the power) to do what you need to survive without hubby. You can go shopping and spend that $20 on a shirt for you. You can go out to eat with some girl friends. You can go over your cell phone minutes talking to your mom. You can take off work to go visit your hubby if you have the chance. You can sit at home at have a pity party occasionally. You can create a blog to release all those crazy emotions. I am not allowing you to be stupid. No cheating. No drugs. Nothing that hurts others. Do not recklessly blow all your money. Just remember you need some TLC during this.

And for the general public, please do not tell us "you understand". No you don't. Your attempt at empathy by sharing how your husband went out of town for business for a whole week will only make us want to throw something at you. You had the phone. You had email. You had no fear for his life. I'm sure you mean well, but it's often taken like a slap in the face. It would be like having a loved one diagnosed with cancer and a stranger telling you of a cold her child had. Sort of the same, but not really.

Find the people that do understand. Really understand. I can promise you there is another lonely wife out there who would love to be your dinner date.