10.02.2009

the lies we tell

We just said good bye to Hubby. Again.

It's not deployment (6 months), but it is a fairly long underway.

We met Hubby on the pier for lunch. I'm a sucker for pain. We always say good bye in the morning when we drop him off and then go through it all again at lunch time. Usually, I head down to the river to wave to them as they go out to sea.

When The Bear and I were walking back to our car after watching him go down the hatch, I lied to my son.

He was screaming and yelling "Bye bye, DaDa" over and over again. It's just what he does. I on the other hand prefer to quietly lick my wounds alone.

I was trying to shush him a bit. I told him that "Daddy will be home soon." I lied. It's going to seem like forever to me so I know it's going to seem like forever to a 21 month old. I know I was just trying to make him feel better, but I don't want to blatantly lie to my child.

Yes, this is not a deployment. Yes, we've gone longer with Daddy gone. But, it's almost 10% of his life so far.

Of The Bear's first 2 years of life, Hubby will have been gone for 49% of it.

I keep telling myself The Bear is too little to remember all this and it really won't have a negative impact on him emotionally or developmentally.

Maybe that's just the sort of lie I tell myself.