Respect

Hubby and I grew up in different environments. Shocking, huh?

I called my parents' friends by their last names. They were Mrs. Brown and Mr. Smith (not their real last names but you get the idea). I'm an adult now, and I still refer to them in that manner.

Hubby grew up calling adults John and Sue.

You never would guess he was the one who was raised in a small town in southern Illinois while I was from the Chicago suburbs. Southern formalities apparently weren't their thing.

The Bear is getting old enough now that we're having to figure out how he should refer to people. While he hasn't mastered all words, he is repeating us more often than not. He has names for us and the Puppy. It won't be long until full sentences are flying out of his mouth.

I feel uncomfortable having him call his friends' parents or church friends by their first names. I still can't call my friends' parents by their first names! It doesn't offend me when I'm called by my first name by a kid. I just prefer to show respect and be in my proper place. I know Hubby thinks it's weird and would be just fine having his 2 year old call a grown up Allison.

I''m trying to reach a happy medium for us. I've been calling adults Mrs. Jessica which seems to work. I can't figure out if I'm THAT old fashioned or if I just have some amazing manners.

Evangelism

As a preface, I had a brief stint working as a telemarketer of sorts. It was actually conducting research for the NIH, but it was the whole idea of cold calling people who don't want to talk to you. It hurts your self-esteem. I don't like hanging up on them. I try to humor them and get them to be real people.

Yesterday, I got a call from a lady who wanted to tell me about Jesus. She was not sharing Jesus - she was telling. She gave me a list of things I needed to do in order to be saved the 4 months when the devil rules the world. I needed to go to church 3 times a week, read the Bible at least twice a day, say a certain prayer aloud with witnesses (no private confessing) and pray to God at the same time every day.

Our conversation went like this:
Me: At the exact same time every day?
God Selling Lady(GSL): Oh yes. He needs to be prepared for you.
Me: (Totally ignoring the fact that I'm pretty sure God can multitask and will listen whenever) Does God follow daylight savings time?
GSL: Why yes.
Me: What about places that don't change their clocks? Like Arizona?

She then hung up on me.

It just makes me sad. Personally, this is not my view of God or how evangelism should be approached. While I might be messing with her and she thinks I'm a complete pagan, I can't imagine winning over many people with this sort of attitude.

Quotes

I am obsessed with quotes. I have been for as long as I can remember. I'm a word person, and there is something so amazing about a single sentence that can move me.

We're going to be switching around rooms soon in our house. We live in a 3 bedroom home. Hubby and I have the master room. The Bear is in the smallest of them. The third room is a combination office/spare bedroom. It's not often used as an office, but it does house our desks and a bunch of books.

With baby 2 on the way, we have some moving to do. Not out of this house; as a military family we enough of that anyways. I refuse to move everything if we don't have to. We're going to be moving The Bear into the bigger bedroom and adding his sibling's crib in there. The extra bed and as much office type things that fit will go into The Bear's current room.

The Bear is currently living in an underwater adventure. There are fish and such on his bedding and all about. I had used the wall stickers found at Target to decorate his room. We can't paint, but I don't like the idea of a little kid's room to be all white. They were way cool when we first moved in, but now they're all over the place.

I've been debating the idea of putting a quote up in the kiddos' room. You can get one customized on etsy.com. I'm having a hard time picking an appropriate quote. I don't want it super long, but I want it to be inspirational. Hopefully something that can be applied to a 2 year old and remembered until he's 92.

Suggestions?

Finally summer!

Today was the first warm(ish) day we've had in almost a month. I kid you not that most of June we've been wearing pants and long sleeves. While it wasn't as warm as it has been in most of the country, I think we were up to the high 70s.

The Bear and I were able to take in the sunshine. The thing about cloudy days is it makes the sunny ones that much more special. A true lesson for many things in life.

We went to a local farm this morning with a group of SAHMs. The Bear LOVED all the animals and they were all so tame and tolerant of small fingers.




We ended our day with a trip to the splash park. No pictures from there. I did bring my camera, but the splash part of the park was a bit more than I expected. Maybe when Hubby is home, he can play with The Bear while I get some shots. The Bear loved watching the water and bigger kids playing, but he was hesitant about getting himself completely wet.

Instead of walking under a waterfall portion, he found he was small enough between the edge and where the water started coming down. He thought he was the coolest thing walking underneath without having to get in the water.

He's a smart cookie. I am now realizing how outmatched I will soon be.

I do not like them!

Being a responsible human involves doing things you don't really like to do. I learned this long before I lived alone or was even a teenager. Thank you for giving me chores, Mom.

All the major milestones (going to college, moving into my first apartment, getting married) have involved more chores and responsibilities. Some of them I just don't like. People always complain about cleaning the bathrooms. Hubby does that when he's home. Never will you be in as clean of a bathroom as just after he's finished scrubbing it all. I don't like doing dishes. Putting my hands in yucky water makes me gag. We have a dishwasher so luckily I don't have to do it often.

Of all the things that come along with mommyhood, the chore I like least is bath time. It makes me feel bad because everyone makes it out to be such a fun bonding time. I just don't like doing it. Hubby gave The Bear a bath the night before he left and it was the best gift ever.

What do you like least to do around the house? Is it something tedious like dusting the fans (I hear some people actually do that) or just something annoying like taking out the trash?

Natural

Since The Bear was born, I've become increasingly more of a natural "crunchy" person. Some is due to the fact that I'm more aware of the yucky chemicals in things and part is because I'm at home more.

I am far from being totally green though. I've just tried to make a few small changes.

Anyways, I'm looking for a more natural birthing plan. I didn't really have a game plan with The Bear. I wasn't the going to walk into the hospital and demand an epidural immediately, but I wasn't proactive in doing something to not need one. It's a good thing I wasn't set on anything though because his birth was far from expected.

Does anyone have advice on how to give birth without medication? I'm not going to refuse to get the epidural again (things don't ever go as planned, remember), but I really would like to do my best to refrain from it.

Honesty

Tonight, I did something that would probably mortify Hubby.

I asked for help.
On Facebook.

Yes, you read that right. I posted an open invitation for someone to watch The Bear tomorrow morning while we have the Change of Command Ceremony as my Facebook status.

I want to go. The Bear was welcome to go, but I really didn't want to spend an hour trying to shush him instead of paying attention.

I was never the type to ask for help. I would rather suffer completely overwhelmed than to admit I'm not able to juggle everything in the entire world.

I'm not sure when the shift happened in me. I would have to guess it was about month 4 of Hubby's deployment. The Bear is sturdy enough now that I can leave him with other people. The first year of his life I had the "he's nursing" reason that we couldn't part. It's good for him (and me) to have our little breaks.

I admitted it to the world on Facebook so I might as well do it here as well.

I need help sometimes. And, I will ask for it.

Injustice of the World #87,649

The Bear is rocking some sweatpants today. (Yes, it is that cold here today.)

He looks cute. I would have no qualms taking him in public. Well, no qualms because of his clothing. His attitude might raise some questions.

Why can't I wear sweatpants today? It's cold and dreary, and I'm feeling fat.

I never used to dress like a slob. I was actually very concerned with my appearance. Now, I just wish I could have a sweatpants day every once in a while.

It's just not fair.

i <3 faces - sepia

I've been feeling a bit better lately and I'm excited to play in the I <3 href="http://www.iheartfaces.blogspot.com/">here to check out all the other pictures.


Here is The Bear last October when I took him to a local pumpkin patch. He had so much people watching and playing in the pumpkins. Sepia seems fall-ish to me so I wanted to pick a picture that captured that.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

The Bear had his 18 month well baby doctor appointment this morning. He's overall a healthy baby boy. We're up to the 10th percentile in weight and 7th in height. Not too shabby for a 3 week early kiddo.

I've learned that part of being a mom is being made to look like a liar when we go to the doctors' office.
He had a cough and a fever 10 minutes before the house. I swear he's sick, Doctor.
I do bathe him and dress him in clean clothes. I know it's hard to believe he can get this dirty while we were sitting in the waiting room. In all fairness, Doctor, you did make us wait for over an hour.
He can talk. He's not always completely silent, Doctor (although this one would be nice for an hour or so at home).

In addition to the physical stats, they always ask a few questions about his development and behavior to make sure he's on track . . . . or to see if I pay attention to him.

Today, I was asked what he does when I give him a toy car. (I wonder if they ask the girl moms this or if it's a boy version of the question). I answered honestly. He throws it. Sometimes, he'll play with it and have it roll across the floor, but normally it's thrown. The nurse asked if he made any car noises. Nope. He throws very far though.

The weirdest question they asked was if he took off his clothes. I said he can take off his socks if he doesn't have shoes on, but that's as much of a stripper as he is.

Or so I thought.

Less than an hour ago, he came to be with only a shirt on. Diaper was taken off and thrown down the stairs. Thanks for making me look like a liar, Bear. I didn't know you had all these skills this morning though. While you do have a cute tush, it's not something you need to show off to the world (remember that when you're older, too).

I was tempted to take a rear view shot of him running down the hall. Then, I remembered he's not potty trained yet and running around naked.

Besides, I'll have many more opportunities to see his tushie when the camera is closer. I do have to get those embarrassing pictures taken eventually.

No Man's Land

There are a lot of times in which I feel I am alone in my thoughts about parenting.

The only licensed clothing (Disney, Thomas the Train . . .) The Bear has he got as gifts. If he's not asking for Mickey Mouse, I'm not going to pay extra for him to advertise. He does wear the clothing he gets as presents though. I'm not going to waste free clothes.

I only let The Bear watch cartoons on PBS. I was completely anti-cartoons. I personally didn't like them as a kid and they still seem dumb to me. I waited until he was about 14 months before I let him watch any. Curious George is the only show he really gets to see on a semi regular basis.

I do want to go on family vacation to Disney World though. I don't want him to be the freak 17 year old who has no clue about pop culture. I would love to take him to Sesame Place this year or next summer. I know he won't get the characters, but it's the experience of going to a place like that.

It's hard for me to find a balance . . . and people that are supportive of my opinions. I have a feeling this isn't going to be the last time I meet this battle though.

Inherently different?

As an undergrad, I took a lot of communications classes. Not speech classes; the ones were we talk about how we hear and what we hear. I was an advertising and psychology major if that makes it more logical.

Since my oh so enlightening days, I knew I didn't want to gender my (future at that time) children. Things that we think of obvious like pink is for girls and blue is for boys are actually "new" ideas. In the early 1900s, the colors were switched. Pink was associated with red and hot emotions which were thought to be manly. Blue was the peaceful ocean and much more feminine. Could you imagine if I had sent out a pink birth announcement for The Bear? People would have flipped.

I'm not the type to force the opposite gender toys on my kids either though. I'm not going to only give The Bear dollies and tea cups. I do want to have both available though and let him choose. Some days he likes to play with his stuffed baseball player doll and some days he's a truck man.

As he grows up and his personality is more apparent, I do wonder what parts of him are just part of being a boy. He LOVES things with wheels. Balls are the greatest things in the world.

I know there are greater differences within each gender than between the averages of the genders. But if a kid is given boy things and girl things with no pressure to pick a certain path (by parents or society), would there be differences?

I am no in means supporting the whole boys with be boys let them beat everyone up thinking. But are boys and girls inherently different from each other?

Remember

I have been blessed with many opportunities to travel and experience things. The summer between my sophomore and junior year of college I went to Paris to take a history class. There is nothing that compares to learning on the same soil things happened.

Here are some of the pictures from when we visited Normandy. There is something immeasurably powerful learning about D-Day while you yourself are struggling up the beach. And, I was dry, not hauling pounds of gear and there were no bullets being shot at me.

The actual beach the US troops landed on. The lucky few who made it to land still had this climb in their way.



I kid you not the sea of headstones went on into the distance. And, these were just the men whose families chose to have them buried in France instead of brought home.


There were too many of these to count. It's so sad for their families, but the thought that they are known by someone brings peace to my heart.


It was all for a reason though. This flag was made by a grandmother in her attic while German troops ate and slept in her home. She wanted to welcome the American troops and thank them for saving her. It was made from scrap fabric and candy wrappers for the stars.


Summer is fantastic, but that's not all we need to be grateful for this weekend.

Special Type of Person

The Bear and I were at a play date the other day. One of the moms is going solo this weekend since her hubby is going on a fishing trip with the boys. She was complaining about being alone. He asked her what she would have done if he had been in the military. Her response was that she wouldn't have married him.

Another mom commented that "It takes a special type of person to be a military wife."

It does.

You have to be strong enough to tackle the world (or at least a new town) by yourself.
You have to be wise enough to compromise when Hubby returns and you return to being partners.

You have to be outgoing enough to constantly be making friends. Between your moves and their moves, no one stays put long.
You have to be introverted enough to get strength from within and realize there will always be new friends to be made and old ones to talk to on Facebook.

You have to find friends in people you otherwise would not talk to. Going through a deployment together is often you need to bond you.
You have to be picky about who you are friends with. There are a lot of bad influences out there in the world.

You have to communicate through the least reliable methods. Emails that get read, letters that get lost and phone calls that are filled with static.
You have to continue to share how you are with your spouse despite the frustrations.

You have to be flexible. Things ALWAYS change.
You have to be rigid in the things you will not compromise.

You have to have complete faith in yourself that you will survive - and hopefully thrive - in this lifestyle.
You have to have complete faith in your husband.


There is a delicate balance.

Not everyone can handle it. Some know they can't. Some think they can and end up making poor choices.

The rest of us end up on an amazing adventure.

Just gross

The Bear is into everything. He's 17 months old; I expected it.

What completely disgusts me though is his love for The Puppy's food. We have the food dishes in our laundry room under the deep sink, but The Bear manages to get himself in there.

AND EAT IT!

I googled it to make sure poison control wasn't necessary. Apparently, it's very normal and the food has meats and dairy in it so he'll be fine.

It's just so gross.

On the bright side, I'm able to add to my list of embarrassing stories to tell his future spouse :-)