12.26.2008

Not Your Traditional Christmas

So I had planned to not write during the Christmas time to spend time with my family and just celebrate every moment possible. I should have known better than to plan.

I knew Hubby was gone so I would need to make a conscious effort to be cheerful and positive about it all. I knew this year would be different than any other Christmas we had celebrated. I knew it wouldn't be right since our family wasn't together. I knew The Bear was really too little to get it and it really would be more bows and ribbons for me than him. I knew our budget allowed a celebration, but nothing too extravagant.

I did not know my Christmas meals would all be eaten in the PICU. I did not know just how different this year would be.

The hardest part of the last 48 hours has been the awkward emails to Hubby. I had promised him an email Christmas Eve night to tell him about our day. We had gone into the ER at 9 pm and haven't made it home yet. I had my mom email him for me, but it bothered me I wasn't able to. A promise is a promise. I knew it would get flagged if certain words were said. It's been hard to write about my day without mentioning hospital, pneumonia and oxygen. It's been a rough few days.

There have been some bright spots.
*They know what's wrong.
*They know how to fix it.
*We are at an excellent hospital with wonderful care.
*We were visiting my parents so the puppy is one less thing to worry about.
*4 different doctors have told me in the last 48 hours how The Bear is a fighter and how tough he is. I will always remember the doctor right after he was born telling me my baby was feisty. He sure is. He is not one to give up.
*The hospital has wifi which is making this all possible to write.
*The American Red Cross was wonderful and able to deliver a message to Hubby to inform him of the hospitalization.

The Bear is making a slow but steady recovery. That is all I wanted for Christmas this year. Well . . . and Hubby home. I guess one is better than none though.

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