1.14.2009

Wearing down . . .

I know Hubby will be home soon. For that, I am so eternally grateful.

I love being home with The Bear. I love being able to be with him and watch him grow. I love that Hubby has allowed me this opportunity.

But, I am wearing down. The Bear is a lot of work. He has been especially cranky lately and ohmygosh. A break sounds so amazing.

We were able to go see Hubby a few times during this deployment (which I highly recommend to everyone who can), but he was busy and tired there, too. He did what he could, but I was still the primary caregiver.

The longest I've been away from The Bear ever has been 3 hours. I love him with my whole heart, but I'm wearing down. It's a struggle to keep my patience. To be just as loving after the 4 hours of screaming.

I would not have traded being a SAHM for anything. But right now, I'm feeling selfish and guilty. I can't imagine how it would feel to have an afternoon or morning or evening where I didn't have to worry about changing diapers, being constantly entertaining or listening for cries. I can't believe I'm actually going to post this. I'm just hoping there is some other mom out there that understands. That loves her child more than herself. But just wants someone to take care of her.

Not too much longer until my teammate comes back. I know I can make it. I just wish it was sooner.